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As a result of medical advances…GMATPrep & OG11 #130

As a result of medical advances…GMATPrep & OG11 #130
A 3 min read
As a result of medical advances, many people that might at one time have died as children of such infections as diphtheria, pneumonia, or rheumatic fever now live well into old age.
(A) that might at one time have died as children
(B) who might once have died in childhood
(C) that as children might once have died
(D) who in childhood might have at one time died
(E) who, when they were children, might at one time have died

What does this question test?

This question tests your ability to establish parallel constructions.  It also tests your knowledge of the use of appropriate relative pronoun with “people”.

What does this sentence mean?

This sentence states a comparison.  It states that as a result of medical advances many people now live well into old age.  These people in the past would have died in their childhood.

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What are the errors in the original sentence?

  • Clause 1:  As a result of medical advances, many people
  • Clause 2:  that might at one time have died as children of such infections as diphtheria, pneumonia, or rheumatic fever
  • Clause 1:  now live well into old age.

This sentence has 3 errors:

Modifier Error:  “That” in clause 2 refers to “people”.  “That” cannot be used to refer to people.  The correct pronoun is “who”.

Parallelism Error:  The sentence establishes a comparison.  It compares how the medical advances have decreased the death of people in childhood due to certain diseases.  The element 2 of comparison is not underlined and hence establishes the structure needed for element 1 in order to maintain the parallelism.

  • Element 1:  people might at one time have died as children.
  • Element 2:  people now live well into old age.

Both elements are clauses.  To maintain parallelism, both elements should be written in similar manner and words should appear in the same order.  In both elements, the order of words is maintained as follows:

People – timing of verb – verb – age group of people.

However these terms are not worded in similar manner for expressing “age group of people”

  • Element 1 – “as children”
  • Element 2 – “into old age”
    • The correct expression in element 1 should be “in childhood”.

Wordy Expression:  “at one time” appears to be wordy.

Answer Choice Analysis:

Choice A:  This choice has 3 errors as discussed above – Modifier Error, Parallelism Error, and Wordy expression.

Choice B:  No error.  In this choice, all errors discussed in choice A have been corrected.  The wordy expression “at one time” has been made precise “once”.

Choice C:  This choice has 3 errors:

Modifier Error pertaining to use of “that”:  Similar to Choice A.

Parallelism Error pertaining to “as children”:  Similar to Choice A

Parallelism Error pertaining to order of words in Element 1:  As discussed in error analysis above, the order of appearance of words should also be similar between two parallel elements.

  • The correct order in this sentence is established using the non-underlined portion of the sentence –
    • People – timing of verb – verb – age group of people.
  • Per this choice, the order of words of element 1 is
    • People – age group of people timing of verb – verb.

Choice D:  This choice has 2 errors.

Parallelism Error pertaining to order of words in Element 1:  Similar to Choice C.

Wordy: Similar to Choice A.

Choice E:  This choice has 3 errors

Parallelism Error pertaining to use of “when they were children”:  Similar to Choice A.

Parallelism Error pertaining to order of words:  Similar to Choice C

Wordy:  Similar to Choice A.

Thus, Choice B is the correct answer.

What are the key take-away messages?

  1. Parallel elements should be written in similar manner.
  2. Parallel elements should be written in same order.
  3. Correct choice should communicate the intended meaning of the original sentence.

Where can you find more information?

Register at e-gmat to access Sentence Correction free trial.

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